


Worry

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:04:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1898322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake worries all the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Could you please write a fic where after the break up Blaine is cutting and one of the new directions find him, they call Kurt, but Kurt says he’s too busy and doesn’t want to talk about or to Blaine anymore, and Blaine takes that as his signal to end his life because he feels like he’s a waste of space and he’s unwanted. He didn’t do it before because he felt like he still had a chance of getting back together with Kurt.

Jake hated to admit that he was a worrier.  Maybe the gene totally missed Puck or maybe he just got most of it but he worried all the time. He worried about his mom. He worried about Glee club. He worried about Marley. He worried about his friends. 

 

Now, he was worrying about Blaine.

 

He never had a problem with gay people. His mother had raised him to accept everyone not matter what and Blaine was a really nice guy. No judging, that was his view on life. It wasn’t cool of him to do what he did to Kurt, but he was still nice. It was obvious to anyone with a brain that Blaine was still desperately in love with Kurt and that kind of broke Jake’s heart. 

 

Glancing over to the smaller boy during glee only made him worry more. Blaine looked pale and exhausted, dark circles showing under his eyes. He was wearing a long sleeved green shirt and was lightly running his fingers along the inside of his left arm, staring blankly at Tina who was singing at the front. 

 

Jake frowned as Blaine dig his fingers a little harder into his arm. He was hurting, that much was clear. It had to be pretty bad, breaking up with someone you loved. Jake didn’t even know what he would do if Marley broke up with him.

 

As soon as Tina sang out the last note Blaine jumped up and raced out of the room. His shoulder were tense and drawn up and Jake leaned over, seeing him slip into the bathroom at the end of the hall.

 

"Ready for lunch?" Marley gave him one of her sweet smiles. 

 

"Yeah…I have to grab something from my locker," He kissed her cheek and hurried down the hallway. Not many students were in the fine arts wing and the bathroom was always empty. Jake paused, hand braced on the door. Was he about to just walk in on Blaine going to the bathroom? That would be awkward, especially since he had basically followed him. 

 

Slowly, he pushed open the door and leaned in to see Blaine standing at the sink. Jake was about to try to sneak back out when Blaine jerked a gasped, something clattering onto the porcelain and splattering it with red. 

 

"Oh my God," Jake gasped as soon as he realized it was blood. 

 

Blaine spun around, eyes wide with surprise, and squeezed his hand around his bleeding arm. He stumbled backwards as Jake grabbed some paper towels and yanked down his sleeve. 

 

"I’m fine," He choked out quickly. 

 

"You’re bleeding like crazy," Jake put pressure on the wound and pulled up his sleeve to see it more clearly. Besides the still bleeding cut, cuts criss crossed up his arm. He glanced into the sink and saw a small xacto knife from the art room. "What did you do?"

 

"Nothing," Blaine jerked his arm out of Jake’s grip. "My hand slipped."

 

"Did it slip the other fifty times?" Jake asked softly and Blaine face crumpled. 

 

Jake honestly regretted never going to see Blaine in West Side Story and that he had such a small role in Grease. Even with the slight signs, he would have never guessed that Blaine felt this shattered. He was such a good actor that Jake had to wonder what else he had hidden behind bright smiles. 

 

He sobbed through his admission that cutting had been a problem for years. It had started when the bullying started and gotten worse after the attack. Jake sat with him as he explained that he had stopped when he got back together with Kurt. For a year he had been better. 

 

"Then…I cheated on him," Blaine closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall. "And I figured that I wasn’t being punished enough."

 

"I mean, you did mess up, but you don’t deserve this," Jake said softly. 

 

"I hurt him so I deserve to hurt too."

 

"You’re beating yourself up enough," Jake gave him a small smile as Blaine cracked open an eye. "I’m sure that he doesn’t…hate you. I haven’t known you for that long but you are a nice guy."

 

"I think he does hate me," Blaine whispered, pulling his knees up to his chest. 

 

"You guys just need to talk," He continued, looking away from the miserable expression on Blaine’s face. "I’ve actually been known to be pretty convincing. I can call him."

 

Blaine nodded wordlessly and read off Kurt’s phone number, hope shining in his eyes. For the few weeks that Kurt had been here, Jake hadn’t really talked much to him but his brother had told him that he was a good guy. Almost as soon as he dialed the number, he began to regret it. 

 

He did have a habit of jumping in head first without thinking of the consequences.

 

"Hello?" Kurt answered and Blaine jumped next to him, eyes wide.

 

"Hi…this is Jake Puckerman," He cleared his throat slightly as Kurt stayed quiet on the other line. "It’s just that…and I just realized this is kind of awkward…but Blaine isn’t doing too well."

 

"I’m going to stop you right there," Kurt said cooly. "Blaine isn’t doing well? I think he’s doing more than okay. I’m not going to feel bad for someone who cheated on me." Next to him, Blaine jerked like he had been hit.

 

"But…"

 

"We’re done. We’ve broken up. I don’t care if he’s not doing too well," Jake sat stiffly as Blaine took in a trembling breath. "In fact, why the hell are you even calling me? You know….I don’t care. I have work to do."

 

He stared at his phone as the call ended, heart in his throat. The sudden movement of Blaine standing up startled him and he grabbed the older boy’s sleeve. 

 

"Wait!" He whispered and Blaine shook him loose. 

 

"It’s fine. I understand now," He gave Jake a shaky smile, looking somewhat calm. "I just…need some time by myself. Go and finish lunch with Marley."

 

Something didn’t feel right as he sat next to Marley in the cafeteria. Jake stared intently at Blaine’s usual, empty seat and felt the anxiety and dread swelling up in his chest. When the bell finally rang and Blaine still hadn’t shown up, he turned to Sam.

 

"Have you heard from Blaine?" He asked and the blond paused. 

 

"He said that he was going to the gym," Sam frowned. "Why?"

 

"I just think something might be wrong," Jake mumbled and his suspicions were confirmed when Sam’s eyes widened. The older boy hesitated for a moment before spinning on his heel and walking briskly towards the locker rooms, Jake close behind. 

 

"Blaine?" Sam called out as soon as they stepped in.

 

Blaine’s bag was sitting on the closest bench and was tipped over, his things spilling onto the dirty floor. Sam sprinted off to the showers when they heard the water running. Something on the floor caught Jake’s attention and his blood ran cold. The plastic cap of the xacto knife sat behind one of the legs of the bench.

 

He jumped as he he heard his name shouted from the showers and sprinted over. Curled up against the water was Blaine, his clothing drenched and blood streaming down his arms. Sam was pulling off his shirt and squeezing it tightly around his arm.

 

"I’m sorry," Blaine choked out, shoulders shaking with sobs. "I tried and then I chickened out. I’m sorry."

 

"Shh," Sam gentle shushed him before glancing over his shoulder at Jake. "Call 911."

 

"He doesn’t…doesn’t care anymore," Blaine’s eyes were fluttering. "Why should I?"

 

Jake was numb as he rattled off their location to the 911 operator. He hadn’t even noticed that Blaine had taken the knife. If he had noticed just five minutes later…no don’t think like that. Hovering behind Sam, Jake had never felt so useless as when Blaine was bleeding in that shower stall. The ambulance arrived quickly and they were able to wheel him out of the back of the school to avoid the rest of the students seeing. 

 

"I called Kurt before," Jake whispered, still clutching his phone in his hand as he watched the blood wash down the drain. 

 

"I would have guessed," Sam’s mouth was set in a thin line. "Blaine…he judges himself on how others view him. Kurt knows that. I know he’s mad but…but there isn’t an excuse. Blaine never wants to hurt anyone because he just hurts ten times worse. Believe me, I’m going to call him as soon as I know that Blaine’s okay."

 

Jake felt suddenly nauseous. He wanted to go back to when he saw Blaine as the nice, charming upperclassman who always wanted to help, not this broken, hurting person. He wished he was more like Puck. He wished he was more confident, more self assured.

 

Because now he was just scared and worried.


	2. Build Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: I really loveeeee worry, you should do a sequel you fabulous person ;)
> 
> Prompt by anonymous: Please please please please please can you write a sequel to worry???
> 
> Prompt by missgraciekathy: Would you right a sequel to ‘Worry’? I liked it a lot, I would like Kurt to get what comes to him.
> 
> Prompt by anonymous: Oh god please, a sequel to worry with Kurt finding out and angsting!
> 
> Prompt by anonymous: Sequel to worry?(:
> 
> Prompt by musaranitas: Honeyyyyy that was beautiful/horrible! Please make a sequel to worry!!!!! Kurt needs to know… I’m begging you!!!
> 
> Prompt by anonymous: Hey! If you have time, could you write a sequel to “Worry”? It was great, and I would love to see something where Kurt feels bad and he comes back quite a bit later, but Blaine won’t take him back because he has grown with the help of his friends like Jake and Sam.
> 
> Prompt by anonymous: Sequel to Worry please!!! But tell it through Kurt when Sam calls him about Blaine’s suicide attempt.
> 
> Prompt by anderstilinski: Maybe a sequel to Worry? Doesn’t really matter what it’s about exactly because anything you do with that verse would make me happy :) (anything you write makes me happy so)
> 
> Prompt by idontcarejustloveme: I just found your blog and have been reading through everything all morning, you are an amazing writer! Could to please write a sequel to Worry? Xx

Kurt had been numb since he got the phone call. Every part of his body buzzed with a feeling of  _wrongness_.

_“Blaine tried to kill himself. He slit his wrists. You need to be here.”_

He had just spent the night listening to Brody and Rachel in the next room and was annoyed. Annoyed at his roommate’s lack of respect for him. Annoyed at Brody’s stupid moans. Annoyed that he was lonely. Annoyed that he missed Blaine.

He shouldn’t miss Blaine, not after what he did. He should hate Blaine.

So, he was worked up when Jake called him. Kurt was running late for class, had spilled his coffee and had been kept up all night by creepy sex moans. The soft admission that something was wrong just made him snap.

Kurt knew that Blaine had been struggling after the breakup. He knew that Blaine had always struggled with working through hard emotions. He had seen the scars, had seen the fresh cuts when things got too bad.

But he had completely forgotten about all of that just because he hadn’t had a lot of sleep.

His mind played the conversation with Jake over and over again during the plane ride. His chest tightened with horror as his words grew louder and louder in his head.

_We’re done._

_We’ve broken up._

_I don’t care if he’s not doing well._

He had to choke down a sob, turning away from the sleeping business man sitting next to him. Kurt remembered whispering that he would always support him, that he always cared, when Blaine confessed his depression.

He had given Blaine a lifeline and cut it right in front of him.

By the time he climbed into his father’s truck, the numbness gave way to tremors. He took one look at his father’s pale, serious face and he started shaking. Tears started tracking slowly down his cheeks during the ride and he started sobbing.

He had spoken out of anger and Blaine had hurt himself.

When he arrived at the hospital, he was met with Sam walking through the door with two Styrofoam boxes of food. He looked a little nervous at seeing Kurt but waited for him to get checked in.

“How is he?” Kurt asked softly.

“They thought that he might have cut too deep and damaged the nerve,” Sam sighed as they stepped into the elevator. “He went in for surgery, but they weren’t sure if he will regain full use of his right hand.”

Kurt felt his throat tighten and stared intently at the floor.

The hallway seemed far too long, and his heart pounded painfully in his chest and he froze outside of the door. Kurt had thought that Sam would be angry, ignoring him or shouting, but he was just quiet and tired.

“I’m just going to give him some food,” Sam slipped into the room.

Kurt hovered, not sure if he was wanted inside. There was no way Blaine didn’t hate him. There was no way Blaine wanted to see him inside.

Just when he had worked himself into a slight panic, Sam stepped out and jerked his head in the direction of the room. With a deep breath, Kurt walked into the room and froze.

Blaine was wearing a pair of red plaid pajamas and a grey shirt. It could have been just any other day looking at Blaine. He looked a little tired maybe, eyes dark and flat.

But his wrist was wrapped in heavy bandages.

“What I said…” Kurt began and froze when Blaine shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter. I was upset and overreacted,” Blaine sighed, leaning further into his pillows. “You didn’t have to come and I’m sorry you wasted a trip.”

“No, I was having a horrible day and I was angry. I took my frustrations out on you,” Kurt sat in the chair next to the bed, heart breaking when Blaine squirmed slightly away. “And I am so, so sorry.”

Blaine was silent for a long time, staring intently at his arm. “I made a mistake. As soon as I…cut too deep I knew I didn’t want to die. I was just angry and had been struggling for a while.”

“I knew you had issues,” Kurt shook his head, feeling tears in his eyes.

“No. Don’t you dare say that you would have been nice because you knew about my past depression,” Blaine’s eyes flashed. “Don’t you dare say that you would get back together with me because you’re afraid that I’ll kill myself. I’m not someone to feel bad for. I’m not a charity case.”

Kurt nodded, chest tightening.

“I’m starting therapy again,” Blaine lightly ran his fingers along the bandages. “And as soon as I’m healthy enough I’m going to work on physical therapy with my arm. I’m not letting a stupid mistake, a stupid moment of…make me lose something important to me.”

This wasn’t just about the attempt. The pure anguish and self hatred in Blaine’s eyes actually made Kurt feel sick. He wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug and made the pain go away. He just wanted to hold on to the man he loved and take away the hurt.

But Blaine wasn’t his anymore.

“You’re still here,” Kurt gave him a shaky smile. “You’re still here and things will get better.”

“I’m sure,” Blaine said softly.

“Because I do care. You’re my friend and I care,” Kurt gently took his uninjured hand. “You scared me half to death.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Blaine whispered. “I scared myself too.”

Kurt squeezed his good hand. He couldn’t take back what he said, he couldn’t make that hurt go away. He could be there, he could be that support that Blaine needed.


End file.
